For you
I used this as a crutch to not lose contact. Now that’s what has to be done. So Goodbye tumblerina you were a good sport, you took a good ass whooping from me and for that, I thank you.
leaving the tumblr behind with my old apartment. and the last 2 years of my life here too. Its hard to walk away fr-
writing is more fun than I thought.
Its amazing how much clearer my thoughts are without drugs. WITH the exception of the RX for Sub. I needed it, It was bad. but now I dont need substances to cope, or you. I did this for me and only me, (Despite what you and most people said.) I do hope you’re happy for me though. And I’ll admit I was a bit unstable for most of these days I think I’ve got it right now.
All Bullshit aside; From a simple guy, to a beautiful beautiful woman such as yourself. I will just say this:
I owe you a BIG apology and it is truly a shame that I cannot get that opportunity. I put you aside and I shouldnt have. I took you for granted, And I was not the person you fell in love with throughout the end of the relationship and I guilted you into staying when really you wanted to stay but the crazy guilt shit was pushing you away. we had a good thing, we could’ve made it, thats whats sad. The distance wouldnt have bothered me, We needed a little space. Im ashamed I let someone like you get away, (the mistake I thought Id never make again) And it is truly a shot to the heart for me. A genuinely great human like you deserves the best and I can say I didnt always give you that and that really stings. Lots of regret. But on the other end we had alot of good times and Im straight-up mortified that we wont have any more;In shock Im sorry I wasted your time. Dont say I didnt because I clearly did. Good luck with your guy travels… if anyone asks I’ll put in a good word because You’re fucking something. you really are. I will never stop loving you. Not any less than I had from the start.
I wanted to contact you somehow so I could say this but you refused which I understand I suppose. So just know you made this public. anyhow I suppose I’ll pick up the pieces and we will officially never be a part of each other’s lives again. It’s what you want isnt it?
I know you gave up in two fuckin seconds but you were aware that I was not going to be able to meet the same standards…im sorry i hassled you, it was the result of me not knowing what to do and it was cowardly (Hard to admit)
A short while after a relationship the man is obligated to try to fix the relationship. I tried. I did not succeed. This is my resignation. I am relieving myself from duty, lets make it clear that given the situation this is the only choice ive been given. You will be greatly missed and loved. Thank you for your service. It was an honor.
A friendly reminder since Im sure you’ve forgotten-Would’ve made 2 years This Wednesday.
I quit. You happy?
Pat Shea Jr. <3P
‘Talk if you need to, But I cant stay to hear you, Thats the wrong thing to do’
